Experience Oneness by means of Blessings to flower your heart
Enrolled in August 2007
The 10 day process has been one of the most impressive meditation and life transforming retreats ever on this earth plane. A roller coaster of events and insights in my life. The most subtle thoughts, ideas and memories with a high emotional charge where addressed. In the end I felt very relieved and realized I have lived the life of my parents and ancestors. Because of my gratitude towards the Oneness University and the Divine I describe in detail my experiences for everyone to read. It might be beneficial for others and help them in their process towards oneness. My struggle - the part of myself I tried to hide and fight against for decades - could no longer stay in the darkness but came to the light and surface. In the end I realized it was not part of me and I was fighting an illusion. Bhagawan has stated: You are the past. This is what I have experienced during this retreat. Now I can start to live a new life. Compassion is defined as: Love + Action. See putting this website in existence as compassion.
Being tired of this reality
As my father I turned my hobby into a profession. As my father I moved back to old profession at the age of 43 in order to be responsible for my family as a father. As my father the money did not came in to pay bills straight away. As my father I was tired of my life. As my father my financial administration was not perfect. I read many books on being succcesful and applied affirmations to change this situation. If your read the page between 21 day and 10 day process you will understand that the Oneness Blessing process was working at full speed in this reality.
The last months prior to the ten day process I felt very tired of this reality and my internal struggle. It was the feeling of my father and his strugle in life. I could not see another solution to ask for help and participate in the 10 day process. Although I had fear to participate - and delayed participation for 2 years - in the end I knew there was no other option. On the second day of the retreat I connected to all of the residing thoughts and beliefs inside my consciousness and felt a heavy energy. According to Sujay one of the kindest individuals I have ever met and a Dasa (Friend) this emotional charge of all your thoughts, ideas and beliefs consumes all your energy. For this reason the number of participants for my workshops had dropped since 2005 he told me. This was all part of the process of life making sure to face my inner struggle and stop escaping and pretending.
A striking conclusion during the retreat : I had to recognize the sorrow in myself in order to be recognized by others. The question I was struggling with: how could I have walked on this planet in complete joy and love for over 6 months (see meeting Bhagawan) and I started to realize this was prior to the death of my father in 1992. Was the karma of my father ripening upon me? I received information I had taken all the emotional charge of my father upon me. During the end of the retreat more and more thoughts deep inside me appeared to be ideas of my father, which have ruled my life since 1992. The emotional charge resulted in events in my life. How did these beliefs enter my consciousness? I took upon me the karma of my biological father and his spirit went purified to the stars. Without this he would have reincarnated on planet Earth. It was my way of thanking my bio logical father in order to be able to enter this body on 17 of July 1980.
My grand grand father lost 3 children before the age of 1 year
When I read the perspective of the 10 day process in 2006 I immediately started to search for my long forgotten book of my family roots going back to the year 1609. I found the book and started to connect to 10 generations back in time. I made an A4 summary with the names of my male ancestors from my father's family. I encountered an old picture of my grandfather with his parents and brother and sisters and I read some terrible news. He lost 3 children before the age of 1 year in the late 1800 's and I remember I cried, because I felt the pain of my grand grand father. I had long forgotten this incident up to the 8th day of the retreat when suddenly Bhagawan appeared in the dream world and removed 3 little babies from my navel chakra. The centre of the navel chakra - manipura chakra - is called the Surrya Bindhu and is referred to as a black stip. This point is related to fear for death. Somehow I experienced it as containing all the most painful emotional charge related to the memories of the dying process of relatives. I always had the idea of wanting more children for some reason. This was not my thought but the thought of my grand grand father related to his pain.
Painful hand and wrist after birth and women do not love me
During a night I could not sleep because of a very strong Deeksha I went into the strong vibrating energy of my navel chakra. After continuous attention and focus a memory popped up. I saw the hand of a baby and a non with grey coloured dress with white borders. I felt and saw she was not treating me nice and somehow I felt she was jealous. The pain in my wrist was extensive and prior to attending the 10 day process the wrist was painful for over 3 months. I never realized this was the reason. I checked this out through my mother by 2 messages over my mobile phone and she told me my right arm was strangled behind my neck during the birth process. For this reason my wrist should have been very painfull. She told me the non was the sister of my grand mother. I contacted her spirit (she died long time ago) and she admitted she wanted to have children and a grand son just like her sister. The first 12 years as a non was difficult for her with this respect. Anyway I understood the welcome on planet earth appeared not to be so nice. For this reason jealous persons who rejected me or critisized me in the past brought me back to this first pain in my life of being rejected. For this reason I had a strong inner belief women do not really love me what ever they do for me or give me love. Something in the background was always there. In addition the last 2 years the number of jealous persons in my life increased as neighbours and colleagues where not treatening me very nice.
Oneness Blessing Phenomena left my central channel with an enormous high speed into space
During the 10 day process Cosmic Beeings help in the proces of participants. Cosmic Beeings of the Oneness University are Dasas (Friends) which have a very high consciousness level and help participants with making us aware of our traumas (21 day process), thoughs, ideas and belief patterns. Their high frequency of energy loosens the contracted heavy energies, which have strong charge and rule our lives. When I was in deep mediation in the void in my heart I suddenly saw a light ball of very white intensive energy passing through my central channel back into space slightly bending forwards. I had never seen and experienced such a phenomena. It reminded me of the promotion movie shown in the 21 Day Process about the Deeksha of the Divine reaching out to you. I opened my eyes and noticed the 2 Cosmic Beeings where leaving the mediation hall. It was like they helped to bring the energy sphere down for us and had to release the energy sphere when they left. From my perspective this energy is related to the consciousness of Mother Earth creating a specific pattern around and through the planet far throughout space. By guiding it towards individuals great clarity manaifests. For this reason I noticed the Devine showed me more clarity on my life experiences ever since.
Not being a good father
During the last 6 years when my son Ramon grew up I could not fully enjoy being with him and playing with him. When he asked something sometimes deep inside took control over me and produced the answer No. Inside I felt quilt and although my environment told me time after time I was a good daddy. My idea was the contrary. By moving into these feeling of quilt during the retreat I felt this was not my thought but the though of my father. How was this possible? Three months before he passed away in 1992 as a result of being an alcoholic for over 20 years he phoned me and asked me whether he was a good father to me. My reply was simply no. This deep inner belief of not being a good father was so strong whatever I did for the outer world, deep inside it could not compensate this inner feeling and associated belief.
Anger and painful legs from 3 to 6 years
The last 2 days of the retreat I felt suddenly an intensive anger towards everyone and negative thoughts about other persons crossed my mind. One night I woke up at 4 A.M. and saw a picture of myself struggling with my legs and iron structures around my knees. I moved into the pain of my legs - which always have a strong tension - and felt a sleep. In the morning I could hardly leave the bed and could hardly walk. I had to move very slowly I simply could not move fast. The advantage was I was very connected with al life around me, the disadvantage was my legs felt very tired. When I was born my legs appeared to be crossed and at the age of 3 and 4 I felt over my own feet. I felt the anger from my childhood that I could not walk very well and everyone was watching me. I knew something about this from the last days of the 21 day process and had asked my mother afterwards. She confirmed the received pictures in 2005. I knew I had some anger inside in case of struggling with computers for days in a row and suddenly understood this was related to the frustration in childhood
Wanted to leave my family
My father started drinking intensively when I was 7 years old. He had sincere emotional problems. When I was 4 years both his parents died within a 6 weeks time frame. He always blamed these events in his life as the cause for his behaviour. Inside me resided a deep inner belief I would leave Linda and Ramon when Ramon would be around 7 years old. This was another thought of my father. He was not happy with his life and when I encountered a photo from this phase in life for the first time in my life in 2006 I felt his sorrow through this picture. It was very important to remove this emotional charge from this belief. Now I can let go and feel being back in control.
Feel lonely and nobody loves my
During the last days of the retreat I experienced the death of my father in hospital. He was completely alone without any family members. We did not want to be there, because of his behaviour and yellow appearance. I realised the feeling of loneliness in my life was the feeling and fear of death of my father. I did not know where to go and started walking for no reasons from time to time at night. I felt how miserable he felt being completely on his own without ex wife, son, daughter and sisters. I cried and my body shaked intensively for hours during the retreat. The navel chakra uncontrolled released contracted emotional energy for hours even at night. The feeling of nobody loves me and being alone on this planet was the belief of my father, which ruled my life from time to time especially at fool moon.
Equal love for Amma and Bhagawan in our hearts
Another striking conclusion was the fact that both Amma and Bhagawan are needed to realize the flowering of your heart. You need equal love for Amma and Bhagawan in order to feel and see the joy in your life. They represent the female and male energies of the universe among many other good qualities. The male represents the mind and the female the hart. If you do not have any preference for one of them you absolutely gain most. The 5th day of the retreat their faces appeared at the same second with equal clarity, love and joy in my heart. Instantly joy took over and I experienced the role of Amma in this situation. All my gurus from the past where male gurus and when I connected I could see them having great fun. But I could not feel their joy instantly. Amma makes this feeling connection available to all of us.
Now the charge (this charge) is gone I can start enjoying a new life. For years I have practised the cosmic law your outer world is a reflection of your inner world. This is stil true however it seems to be our inner world is not ours in the first place. This is realy where it is all about. To live in the moment and love every second. According to Sujay the State of Enlightenment is not important, it is better to enjoy the state where you are in and live it!.
The next page is refering to the experiences of level 2 the period in between the Level 2 participated in August 2007 and the Level 2 participated in October 2008
In one heart of Joy and Gratitude Jyotisha
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