Moving towards my mission in life

Living on purpose

Embracing pain from my early child life

The huge pain in my hands, legs and heart when I woke up early in the morning of September 2010. I had intense pain in my heart for several days. Walking, driving and cycling with the pain in my heart and holding the single pointed concentration on the charge. I was crying about IJmuiden - the place where I was raised - in the car back home and my life as a child over there. Although I did reject IJmuiden all the time people from IJmuiden popped up into my life. I felt anger towards my father because he had chosen to live in IJmuiden with me for over 18 years.

At work in Amstedam I did got kind support from 10 colleagues still living over 45 kilometers away in IJmuiden. This was on many occasions very emotional for me. I did not tell at work I was raised in IJmuiden. My walk-in location was at IJmuiden. I was still not accepting this. When talking about the past I started crying and in the end laughing. When talking to others about my father I noticed by throat was still contracting. The Universe seemed to be very intelligent! While looking at the water tower picture - which still stands exactly in front of my old house and writing this page the tears are rolling once again after looking at this picture. I though to make the page more attractive by adding a few pictures of IJmuiden.

At one occasion at work about 10 colleagues in a small room did not agree with my feeling for organizing customer specific software components. All the others did not wanted to do it, because of other objectives with deadlines. At a certain moment I felt to some extent a little bit down, because of the group rejection. I was fighting for months to achieve this goal. For a split second I could feel the energy in the air. I felt my own frustrated emotion on a very subtle level in the air. I have never been so sensitive to my own energies. Later that day more pain in my thumbs was felt. This continued for a couple of days. Extremely painfully thumbs and joints in both my hands. In the end my hands became softer and softer like a baby skin.

Feeling a nobody at work

Feeling of being a nobody at work. Others did not appreciate my skills and vision by which I believed could contribute so much. This was the most painful rejection for over 5 years since January 2007 when I stopped full time working as a spiritual teacher. It happened at every company I was working with. Was I escaping my mission in life and for this reason did not get positive feedback at the activities which where not on my purpose? I started to write down my name Jyotisha on birth cards at work. I wanted to escape the pain related to Hans and childhood once again. I wanted to spread my special light from under the great pyramid. But nobody noticed it. Knowing things to happen in advance is not relevant to others and certainly not in business. Although they could make fortunes with it. Rejection Rejection Rejection.

The next page is refering to the experiences of walkin and divine pain and embracing very painfull energies in heart and hands.

In one heart of Joy and Gratitude

Jyotisha