Experience Oneness by means of blessings to flower your heart
Yes I participated in an Oneness Weekend, which is both oriented at starters who want to attend level 1 and at Oneness Blessing givers who want to have a so called mini process. And quess what happens? Linda my life partner also participates suddenly in the Oneness Weekend. I did not push her at all!
It is a fantastic weekend workshop with new video material of the Oneness Univesity Dharma or teachings to be put in practise. First you hear them, then you practice them and then you integrate them into your life. Samardarshini the female Dasa and counterpart of Anandagiri speaks to you on many short video dialoques with a high wisdom.
It is about 8 Baby steps you are suggested to take as an preparation for Level 1. In level 1 you take the bigger steps for life transformation. Victoria and Richard where the facilitators of the workshop. We received 4 Oneness Blessings each day, because 2 additional Oneness Blessing givers were helping as well.
Why did I participate in the Oneness weekend?
Latha - the female Dasa responsible for the Netherlands - instructed me to do so in order to see for myself how the Oneness Weekend is organised. I had indicated I would drop my other workshops and would focus on helping the Oneness University. The plan is to put an Oneness Weekend before Level 1 and before Level 2 in order to be able to have the right attendees and to shorten the number of days in India or Italy for both processes.
Latha has helped me very effectively by talking deep into my consciousness on two occasions, firstly with my birth name Hans and secondly with the ice cream. I respect her wisdom very much and simply did what she asked me to do. Her wisdom had released a lot of charge inside of me. I had mixed feelings about the Oneness Trainers, which were selected and invited for a special training program by the Oneness University earlier this year. My emotion of jealousy and pride I had to be put a side. While beeing at the location I decided to be a participant and focus on one single objective: I was determent to solve my financial crisis and I knew I had to focus on the relationship with my father.
Lower Self and Higher Self?
My life at two sides of a coin. Having all kind of psycic abilities and magic healing powers, while being in connection with my so called higher self and at the same time having repetitive, compulsary and destructive patterns in case of beeing in connection with my lower self. The subsconciousness or lower self was still driving my life to some extend, although it did not came to the surface for 2 to 3 weeks from time to time and the frequency and intensity was lowered over the years by both the Tibetan and Egyptian meditations and not in the last place the Oneness Blessing process. I was is perfect bliss in these phases. But then it popped up again - a clear sign - the deepest imprints (Samskaras) in my conciousness where not wiped out yet.
The charge residing in me manifested in my relationships. The fog of small charges was removed from my conciousness during the last 5 years. I knew the heavy charge was left over and I needed help to release it and guts to see it. Because of my financial crisis I felt helpless and was moved into an attitute of receiving help. Maybe I could see it with the support of the Oneness Blessings during this weekend?
In one of the showed videos during the workshop Samardarshini explains this very well and clearly. We should only live from the higher self and be guided in our lives from there.
And now we are getting at a point, it becomes harder and harder for my (old) self to share my deepest experiences, because we are getting at the core of one of my waste baskets. It is going to stink. One part of me feels ashamed about this. But as soon as the charge is gone it is posssible to see and speak the truth. The Self does not exist and is a collection of charges of traumatic events, thoughts of teachers, thoughts of parents, dogma's of relegions and so on. Everything is put in your bio computer like a software program with statements or code lines. But when all code lines are gone the so called Self disappears or dissolves. This is know as the non ego. By one single life event of 3 seconds and one sequential life event of one minute my "self" and life received a very extreme code line and the mind was running on automatic pilot until the code line was errased 36 years later on 22-2-2009. Only in case of teaching, healing and meditating I was able to put the mind on manual pilot.
The answer to the question: Was my alcoholic father hetro, bisexual or gay?
From deep inside I always knew my father was at least bi-sexual. I could not recall how I knew. On level 1 in India in february 2005 I woke up one morning in the sleeping hall with about 12 other men in the sleeping room. I was in panic and waited until the last room mate was gone before taking a shower and going to the session. I was in complete shock and could simply not move my body. I was scared for male persons and did not dare to write this event down on the earlier pages on this website. See in between level 2 and Oneness Weekend for more information on the second release of charge in relationship with my father. The last few weeks I forced myself to connect to the queasy in my belly, which resided there for ages. By practising the embracing of emotions by moving your spirit into it and by asking at the same time divine support to remove the charge some tears dropped on the floor during morning meditations before the Oneness Weekend. Sunday morning I felt very queasy in my belly when I woke up. No time to move inside, because Linda and I had to catch the train to Amsterdam.
Sunday morning I made a heart felted attemp to find out where it came from the queasy. With my third eye I looked into the space 90 cm before me me and entered dark gray wormhole and moved inside a long the entering spiral, while feeling at the same time the energy in my belly. Suddenly I saw the movie of what happened at the age of 8 years. I saw my father giving another dominant man a forced blow job in the warehouse of my parents animal shop. The warehouse was located at the back of the shop by passing 2 doors. They noticed I saw them. I walked to my room upstairs. After a few minutes or so my father - 33 years old at that time - came upstairs and forced me in a dominant way not to tell anyone and to keep it secret. And especially not tell it to my mother.
Non logical child decisions to cope with the pain
I was shocked by this movie and realized as a child to cope with the situation I wanted to be able to continue to express the love for my father and wanted to be loved by him. I must have decided 2 things:
During the days after the workshop the emotions kept on coming to the surface. Fortunately I was in Spain totally on my own to arrange everything with the house to rent it out for 2 months. For the deepening process this was perfect, because I was too emotional to have people around me and could move further into the pain. I saw the faces of a few strange friends of my father. If I think about my sister - 1,5 years older- I start to cry immediately. I suspected we must have gone through similar stuff during childhood.
Compulsary repetitive patterns in life as a result
I was looking at the patterns in my life manifesting as a result of these 2 non logical child decisions. It was a mess. Among others here are a few examples in 3 categories:
Patterns related to keep things secret or having a strong tendency to reveal secrets:
Patterns related to avoiding male intemacy
Patterns related to attracting dominant persons in my life. Both the dominance of my father and of his male friend where stored inside
I can see so many patters related to this life event and expect a total change will take place soon. As a result of the purification process over the last 15 years the clouds and fog where removed from my consciousness. As a result my life became more heavy, because my heavy charge was attracting life situations. During the last 5 years as a result of the Oneness Process a lot of charge was removed until one heavy traumatic experience - which was programmed by my father to remain secret - was finally released. I feel this will restore the truth speaking from my childhood in my life in order to move into the direction of being constantly connected with my higher self. In addition the financial crises will be solved.
In one heart of Gratitude. The joy will come back soon. I have strong faith in the process. I want to thank Mother Earth she has attracted Amma and Bhagavan and Latha to come to this planet in this time frame. I want to thank Victoria and Richard and the other participants of the Oneness Weekend, who made it possible to release this charge after 36 years. I am struggeling with what has been the bright side of this? Without this personal experience of having non logical child decisions in my consciousness - I could not be very strong in radiating unconditional love for everyone on this planet. I decicate the results to all individials having non logical child decisions stored inside and pray they will be released by grace soon.
The next page is refering to the experiences of embracing anger after participating in an Oneness evening in Barcelona on 6th of May 2009
In one heart of Joy and Gratitude
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